The first two words should already give you hope- life after.
There are some people who feel like there is no life after being bullied, which explains why they take their own. The burden of feeling hated and alone can weigh so much on one’s heart.
Have you ever walked into a room and known that everyone in there was talking about you until they saw you? Have you ever walked in a room where they don’t stop?
Bullying happens in plenty of ways, some ways many of us don’t even realize.
Bullying can be physical, orally, and of course there is cyber bullying.
You can be bullied by same sex, opposing sex, all races, and even your friends.
The worst feeling is knowing that people can make you feel worthless and still go to bed at night, and be able to do it all over again.
Imagine being a middle school girl surrounded by all the pretty girls with their makeup, and their clothes, and their sleepovers- and you’re new. You aren’t new to them by name, but a summer can really change a person. Apparently. You’re still wanting to have fun, not worried about boys, makeup, or anything that big kids worry about. Imagine being surrounded by all of these boys with their new eyes for girls, and you’re you. You’re the same hair parted down the middle, bare faced, stupid joke telling girl everyone loved in elementary school. You still want to play dodge ball in the gym, be the class clown… It’s not cool to be a ‘Tom boy’ anymore.
You’re so sweet. You compliment everyone, help them with their work, try to make them laugh. You’re nice to anyone that comes across you.
But, you still over hear it everyday.
You just want to be pretty, so you cry and break down everyday and your mom finally lets you wear makeup and teaches you how.
You wake up at 6 (an hour early) and you are so careful applying it, you get out a straighter and fix your mess, and you dig and dig until the clothes you’ve found are perfect.
You can’t help but smile and prance around the house- you’re a new person.
Then you get to school and no one even notices. You’re still not important. You aren’t cool. You don’t matter.
Boys still make fun of you.
“She’s just a butter face.” Who even knows what that is in the sixth grade?
“I mean, she’s just funny.”
“Maybe if she was pretty.”
“She’s weird anyways. She just writes and she’s a nerd. ”
Girls still don’t accept you.
“We’re busy Friday.”
“Sorry, she’s already sitting here.”
“Who even did your makeup?”
So, you go home crying again.
You cry every single day.
You have two or three friends, but in middle school you don’t realize how important it is to have less friends that are true than it is to have more friends that are fake to you.
Imagine being a middle school girl. You wear makeup now. But, you’re still ugly they say. Imagine being on the phone with a popular girl, and there’s others on a third line and you don’t even know. You’re dumb and you fall for it, so you share secrets with them and even talk about the girl that is on the other line because they tell you to- you just want someone to accept you. Imagine being a middle school girl, and a boy starts approaching you. One you’ve cared about since elementary school. You flip your hair over your shoulder and your heart is beating so fast. They texted you the night before, all about some girl they like but they never tell you who. They’re coming up to you, “I’m about to tell her I like her…” And you think it’s you. And it isn’t. they take the note you wrote them that morning about them, rip it up, and they throw it at you when you’re sitting on the grass on the practice field.
How stupid do you have to be?
“Why don’t they like me?”
And your mom has no answer. She never does. Who couldn’t love someone that gives their all and just wants a damn smile in return? Finally, she tells you at the end of the year you’re moving. You can get away from it. You don’t have to cry anymore.
This isn’t a sob story, so don’t feel bad for me.
You move away and it’s amazing how accepting some people can be to you.
Now people may think I am beautiful, or important, or fitting in.
I am the same girl that I was so many years ago.
I have the same corny jokes, the same heart of acceptance, and the same welcoming soul to anyone who gives me a chance.
So, next time you look at someone and want to give them the hardest time because of the way that they look, consider who they are on the inside.
Next time you look at a beautiful girl with beautiful hair and perfect makeup, consider who she is on the inside.
Consider she may have been torn apart when she least deserved it.
If she’s a beautiful girl with beautiful hair and perfect makeup, and she’s doing the bullying-
Consider she may have been torn apart when she least deserved it, too.
When I am that girl- that takes out what I have felt on others- that is when you can feel sorry for me.
There is life after being bullied. Being alone. Being unimportant.
You find people that accept you, and love you. And you start to love yourself.
There is life after. So, don’t ever give up.
You were always important.